Consumption: Not Just a Way to Die on the Oregon Trail

As part of my plan to use my time more wisely, I decided at the beginning of 2014 to write down all of the books and movies and TV shows (etc. etc.) that I consumed during the year. It's a good way to look back at my time, face myself in the mirror, and say aloud, Yes, I spent fourteen hours in the past two days watching Supernatural.

I lived up to the goal of writing all that down, but the list of books I read was curiously small. I started 2014 off pretty strong, having read more than ten books in January. Then things got weird. But I'm presenting to you the lists of things I consumed in 2014, mostly without comment.

In total, I read about 38 books. I watched approximately 67 movies (some of them twice) and about 50 seasons of different TV shows. It almost hurts to say that aloud.

BOOKS

Jack Gilbert - Collected Poems (This book contains each of his five books and his uncollected poems)
Carrie Lorig - Nods

Carrie Lorig and Sara Woods - Root Poems
Jason Shinder - Among Women
Bradford Tice - Rare Earth
Gregory Sherl - Last Night Was Worth Talking About
Harryette Mullen - Sleeping With the Dictionary
Paula Cisewski - Ghost Fargo
Matthew Zapruder - The Pajamaist
Zack Haber - Chapbook
Michael Earl Craig - Thin Kimono
Kristen Naca - Bird Eating Bird
C.M. Burroughs - The Vital System
Aimee Nezhukumatathil - Lucky Fish
Charles Simic - Hotel Insomnia
Rachel Richardson - Copperhead
Jenny Boully - of the mismatched teacups, of the single-serving spoon
Opal C. McCarthy - SURGE: An Oral Poetics
Sarah Vap - end of the sentimental journey
Lois Lowry - The Giver
Lucille Clifton - Next
J. Michael Gonzalez - Heredities
Jeffrey McDaniel - Forgiveness Parade
Kate Greenstreet - Case Sensitive
Sarah Vap - Acro Iris
Lily Ladewig - The Silhouettes
Amy Leach - Things That Are
Neil Astley (ed.) - Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal Times
Kate Chopin - The Awakening
TJ Jarrett - Zion
Daniel Halpern (ed.) - The Art of the Story: an International Anthology of Contemporary Short Stories
Chris Abani - Song for Night (haven't finished this yet)
Chrissy Kolaya - Any Anxious Body (haven't finished yet)


TV/MOVIES

Inside Llewyn Davis
Fargo (rewatch)
The Story of Film: An Odyssey (fifteen episodes)
Veronica Mars (Seasons 1, 2, and 3)
Return of the Jedi
X-Files (Season 1) (rewatch)
But I'm a Cheerleader
The Graduate
Supernatural (Seaon 1, episodes 20 & 21, Seasons 2 & 3)
Kissing Jessica Stein
Pickpocket
High Fidelity (rewatch)
Harold & Maude
Practical Magic
Phantom Menace
Gossip Girl (Seasons 1 & 2)
American Psycho
Hannibal (Season 1)
Bling Ring
The United States of Leland
A Young Doctor's Notebook (1 series)
Boyhood
30 Rock (Seasons 1 & 2 twice) (Season 3) (rewatch)
Happy (twice)
New Girl (Seasons 1, 2, & 3) (rewatch)
Flashdance
Cry-Baby
The Virgin Suicides (rewatch)
Following
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Ghost Hunters (one episode)
Paranormal Entity
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
The Inbetweeners (Season 3)
Spiral (Seasons 1 & 2)
Mean Girls (rewatch)

The Royal Tennenbaums (rewatch)
The Room (rewatch)
Sherlock (Season 3)
Orange is the New Black (Season 2)
Louie (Seasons 1, 2 & 3)
Party Monster
Shoot the Piano Player
Luther (Seasons 1, 2, & 3)
Louis C.K. Hilarious
The Ninth Gate
Taxi Driver
Scoop
In the House
Tin Man (Seasons 1 & 2)
The Punk Singer
Friday Night Lights (Seasons 1 & 2)
The West Wing (Seasons 1 & 2) (rewatch)
Wayne's World (rewatch)
The IT Crowd (Seasons 1, 2, 3 & 4)
Californication (Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, & 7) (rewatch of first six seasons)
Teenage
Gilmore Girls (Seasons 1 & 2) (rewatch)
Bad Grandpa
Electrik Children

The Lego Movie
Peep Show (pilot episode only)
Salem (pilot episode only)
The Bletchley Circle (Season 2)
The Office (U.S.) (Season 1, episodes 5 & 6)
The Office (U.K.) (pilot episode only)
Shadows & Fog
The Initiation
Dead Poets Society (rewatched twice)
The Brak Show (season 1) (rewatch)
Emporte-Moi
Unzipped
Game of Thrones (Seasons 1 & 2)
Jurassic Park (rewatch)
September
We Are The Best
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (rewatch)
Cropsey
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex
Stand By Me (rewatch)
Rachel Getting Married
Amelie (rewatch)
Turbo
Californication (pilot episode rewatch)
Beauty & the Beast (rewatch)
American Horror Story (season 3)
Advanced Style
Donald Glover: Weirdo
Aladdin (rewatch)
Home Alone (rewatch)
The Wolf of Wall Street
Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets (rewatch)
Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom
Labyrinth (rewatch)
Don't Trust the B**** in Apartment 23
Love Actually


And that's it. I'm planning on writing down everything I read and watch in 2015; hopefully the book list will be a little longer. I'm not sure I can do anything about the TV/Movies list. I'd like to say it's going to be shorter, but let's be real.

Year End Post: Vol. 1

So, five months is a long time to go between blogs, but it's been a crazy five months. This semester kind of kicked my butt, and not in the good way. Like, when you're at the gym and the perky blonde lady isn't sweating at all and she's got a perfect pony tail and her eye makeup is still pristine and she's like "this teacher kicks my butt!" I'm the one in the corner, red-faced, grunting and farting and trying not to vomit. This year was difficult.

But that's not to say that this year was without merit. I did a lot this year, and I thought I'd do a year-end wrap up post to say that yes, some good things did happen this year, and I need to be thankful for those things instead of dwelling on everything that went awry.

1. I got 75 rejections.

I have a goal of getting 100 rejections each year, because if I'm getting 100 rejections, it means I'm sending out work. Lots of work. I didn't reach that goal. I didn't reach that goal partly because things got a little hectic here at the end of the year. But I'd also like to think I didn't reach it due partly to:

2. I got 21 acceptances.

Twenty-one journals said yes to me! I might do a whole post on the whole process of acceptances & rejections & sending work out, because it's a weird process. It's like playing the lottery, and it's very tedious to send your work out, and I have to make it a game in as many ways as possible (the 100 rejections thing is one of those ways), but putting the work in is totally worth it. I got into a couple of my favorite magazines this year and I need to think about that on the bad days.

3. I completed yoga teacher training.

I am now a certified yoga teacher. I've only taught one class, but I've been thinking about trying to teach more. I really love teaching (both English and yoga), and there is something really nice about teaching a yoga class as opposed to an English class: mostly everyone who shows up to a yoga class is there by choice. I don't have to teach to the back-row sitters who are just snapchatting their buddies. Though, I guess, you'd be surprised about how many people I see texting in yoga.

4. On that note, I practiced yoga 160 times.

Hopefully a handful more by the end of the year. This is short of my goal for the year by 40 practices, but I celebrated my two-year yogaversary in November and I can't believe it. This is the longest I've ever stuck with any physical practice. I've started and quit so many sports in my life: volleyball, track, basketball, soccer, softball, cheerleading, running. I guess I was in cheerleading for three years, which is a little embarrassing to admit. Anyway, all this to say that I think I'll be happy about the number 160 instead of sad about the 40 I didn't do.

5. I did a buttaload of poetry readings.

I had a goal for this year in terms of poetry readings. That number was four, and I did way more than that. At least double. I love doing poetry readings more than I love doing just about any other thing, so this is definitely a goal I'm going to keep going into the new year.

6. I wrote approximately 110 poems.

Some of the poems I wrote and gave away to people at the Magers & Quinn 20th anniversary party, and some of the poems I wrote for Revolver's Write Fight, but I have most of the poems sitting on my desktop. I wanted to write 200 poems this year and I didn't do that, but I did write more than half that. And that's nothing to sneeze at.

7. I traveled. A lot.

I started the year in Ohio/Indiana for a little expedition related to a project I'm working on. I went on a writing retreat on the way back home in Wisconsin, where I almost got stuck because the weather on the day I left was about -30 degrees. IT WAS INSANE. But obviously I made it home.

I went to Alaska! This has been on my list of "yeah right" things I've wanted to do for such a long time, and for my husband's graduation present, his parents got us tickets to go to Juneau to visit his brother and their little family. It was such a blast.

I went to Vermont for the Bennington Writing Seminars anniversary thing, which was basically just a mini reunion for my grad school class, which was amazing.

I flew to Ohio right before fall semester started so I could go to my sister's baby shower, which was such a crazy time. I may never get to see her pregnant again, so there's no way in hell I was going to miss that one. It's so insane that humans can grow other humans inside of them.

I also got to go to Florida in May, where I got a ridiculous sunburn. I mean, a sunburn so bad I couldn't sleep on my back for a week. But I also got to see my mom and hang out with my family for a week, so no complaints.

8. I became an aunt.

Will's brother and his wife had a baby girl in May, and MY sister had a baby boy in November! I have never been much of a baby person, but it's totally different when it's a baby in your family. These kids are going to be so spoiled. I love it.

There are so many other things I did this year, too, and I may post about some more specific events in the coming days before the new year, but writing out these things I have to be thankful for was something I've been meaning to do for a long time. It's so easy to get caught up in the little stuff and forget the good things.

I hope you all had a fantastic year. Go and be good to each other.

Update: 101 in 1001, Part 1

Hey guys. I know I only first posted about my 101/1001 challenge about a month and a half ago, but I thought it could be fun to update a little bit about it already. Thinking about things I'd like to do over the course of the next couple of years definitely has me actively seeking opportunities to try new things and take necessary steps in accomplishing my goals.

I'm not going to share the whole list again, but I'll just comment on some of the things I've been up to in the last month or two!

The first and most important thing I crossed off my list was "Finish list of 101 things," which I completed on June 4th. I think it's fun to put things on lists that I know I'm going to do, like putting "eat lunch" on my daily to-do list. It was also nice to be able to cross out a thing right away. I did think for a few days about what I ultimately wanted on this list, but I like to dive into things head-first and knew that if I waited much longer, I probably wouldn't get around to finishing the list.

One of my other crossed-off goals was to do a bike ride/picnic with Will. I'm happy to say we've done this a couple of times this summer, but at the tail end of June, we biked with a couple of Subway sandwiches (all the veggies!!) down to Minnehaha Falls and ate them while people watching and listening to the almost-overflowing river rage on.

Another one I'm really excited about is the goal of going to at least four live concerts per year. Since making this list, we've gone to three live concerts, and have plans to see Jenny Lewis in August. I almost pee my pants every time I think about that. Jenny Lewis has been one of my favorite singers since my early college days, both as the frontwoman for the band Rilo Kiley and as a solo artist. I can't wait. The other three concerts we were able to see were the Zombie Pit String Band, my brother-in-law's awesome bluegrass band, Old Crow Medicine Show, which we were able to see for free at the 40th anniversary party for A Prairie Home Companion, and lastly, a local Reggae band called Dred I Dread.  I had never seen a Reggae concert before, and I was not disappointed. It was actually really great.

A few yoga-related goals I was able to cross off in the first week of this list were to hold crow pose for five breaths--I held it for six and only fell out because I started laughing--and to teach a yoga class, which was terrifying and amazing.

Under the category of "Travel & Adventure," I got to cross off "Take a cross-country road trip." In June, I drove from Minnesota to Vermont and back to attend the 20th anniversary of the Bennington Writing Seminars, where I graduated with my MFA in 2010. I love road trips. I think traveling in general can teach us a lot about who we are, especially when taking long trips. This trip in particular was a difficult one for a couple of reasons, but I made it there and back without speeding tickets, and I only cried in one Burger King parking lot.

The other item under "Travel & Adventure" I completed was "Do something that scares me," which is a pretty general task. However, I've done a number of things that scared me over the past few weeks: I participated in (and won!) a live writing competition--Write Fight--that was hosted by Revolver. Teaching the yoga class was also a rush for me, and just the other day I stepped very close the the ledge of a two-story high balcony.

This post has become unwieldy! And I'm only halfway through my list, so I'll continue this sucker later like an episode of a bad TV sitcom.

To be continued...

Crying in Public: It's Really, Really Cool

On Tuesday of this week, I was given the opportunity to participate in just one part of SHORE, Emily Johnson's multi-day performance. The part of SHORE I got to take part in was a curated reading. I gave a short reading along with seven other talented writers at the Loft in Minneapolis. A new and exciting thing for me! The rest of SHORE features volunteerism, dance, and feasting (probably my favorite of all four things). I saw the call for submissions on the Loft website. Emily curated this reading and asked that we send in pieces that were strongly tied to the idea of home, place, and land.

The town where I grew up is called Oak Harbor, and it's very small. When I say very small, I mean very small. The 2010 census clocked in around 2,500 people. I have friends who went to high schools bigger than that. I thought I really hated growing up in such a small town where everybody knew everybody's business, but then a few years ago, I pretty much barfed and all these poems about Oak Harbor just started coming out of me. I read four of them at the reading

The last poem I read was called "The House Does Not Look Burnt." It was published in an earlier version in Issue 27 of Neon Magazine in 2011. Three stanzas from the end of the poem, I just burst into tears. I made it to the end but kept apologizing and, thank God, there's even a video of this.

I was so embarrassed. I had never read the poem aloud at a reading before and had no idea that was going to happen. But after the reading, a lot of people came up to me and said "Hey, that's happened to me. Don't worry about it."

I'm not really sure what to do with this information. I did watch the video, like a scary movie: with a see-through scarf in front of my face, as if it would shield me from the embarrassment I felt. But it wasn't as bad as I remembered. I didn't have red snotty cry face, like I do when I cry at home. I just figure, when else am I going to get the chance to cry in front of a big group of strangers? So I'm posting the video here, because this is the true meaning of yolo.

If you want to see me read all the poems, I'm near the end of the reading. I get introduced around 1:03:48. If you have time, you should watch the whole thing--especially because at one point, Paula Cisewski reads three dazzling poems. If you just want to see the public crying, skip to 1:08:14. Also, if you've cried in public you now owe me a story.

Writing About Writing: Everyone's Favorite Least Favorite Thing

First of all, thanks to Kathleen Kirk for tagging me in this blog tour thing, and an apology to Molly Sutton Kiefer, who asked me to do this several months ago and I said I would and then didn't. Oops! I'm not a bad person, I just get distracted by TV shows. The two writers I'm tagging to do posts about this next are Joe Stracci and Erica Anderson-Senter, two fantastic writers and fantastic friends. Joe recently published a novel, Whitney, which you should definitely check out. At his book launch, I fell over a table and got a massive bruise which I nicknamed "Shame Bruise." It was there for many weeks as a reminder of how dumb I am. Erica is going into her second term in Bennington's MFA program (!!) and her poems drink diesel and scratch wherever they want, even if they're in public.

Erica hasn't actually agreed to do this yet, but you should check out her blog either way. I know if I waited for her permission I would get distracted by TV again and this post wouldn't transpire for another 3 months, my eyes glazed over with 3 seasons of Luther and a front to back rewatch of The West Wing.

Anyway, there are four questions here that I'm going to answer, and which Kathleen also answered, and which in theory, Joe and Erica will answer as well. Let's get to it then?

What are you working on?

That's always an interesting question for me, because I feel that the answer could likely be "nothing." I'm not really a planner when it comes to my writing. I do try to sit down and write at least a few times a week, but I don't have plans to finish anything in particular. I have a list of projects I flit between and work on whenever I feel called to. I'm trying to write poems named after each episode of The X-Files (I'm about halfway through season 1, writing-wise). I'm also writing a batch of poems based loosely on French New Wave films. The other thing I'm working on is a series of poems about the weird little town where I grew up. I assume it will be many years before any of these projects comes to a close.

How does your work differ from other writers in your genre?

It's hard to say. When I write poems I'm often inspired by other poets and the work of my friends and the members of my writing group, so I think that my poems are essentially tied to the work of many other writers. But then, I'm super weird (just check out the list of new things I did every day for five months in high school if you don't believe me), and so I think that on a fundamental level my poems are going to reflect my personality: weird. I like to try wacky stuff and write poems about the things that I find myself obsessing over, like stigmata and ghosts. 

Why do you write?

I've always been a writer. In second grade I wrote a poem called "FAT TURKY" [sic] in which I plot and execute a Thanksgiving murder (it was a turky, obviously), then eat the victim. In the end of the poem I get sad about having killed it but realize the turky is still alive in my "stumack" and we cut it out with a butcher knife. The details are murky but I don't hold grudges and now I like most birds. Anyway, I'm still writing.

What is your writing process?

My process isn't fancy. I just sit down and write. I pretty much only write poetry. I spend a lot of time thinking about poems and I have a lot of books full of ideas and words that I like. When I have thought about an idea for long enough, I sit down to write a poem about whatever that thing is. Sometimes I spend a long time procrastinating, and sometimes I give up right away. When I don't give up right away, I write a poem. It's either good or terrible. I hardly ever revise poems, because I'd rather just write a whole new poem than spend time making bad poems okay. That's probably the reason I've written about 700 poems since 2007. Because most of them are total crap.

101 in 1001

I realize this is going to be my second list post in two days, but I was inspired yesterday by my friend Jaime's post about her progress on something called "101 in 1001." I was intrigued and looked into it a little more. The idea is simple: make a list of 101 things to accomplish in 1001 days. If there's anything I love, it's making a good list, and the mother of all lists is obviously the to-do list. What I liked about this project is that it gives you a time limit for the accomplishments, and it's also a great way to aggregate long- and short-term goals into one big list. So I made a list of my own.

I just finished the first thing on the list, which was to finish the list. And scarily enough, I'll be completing a second task on the list tonight: teach yoga. I'm going to be teaching my first yoga class this evening at Ambiente Gallerie in northeast Minneapolis. I'm both nervous and excited. I'll definitely keep you posted on how it goes!

Below is my list. What would be on yours?

101 in 1001: June 4, 2014 – March 1, 2017

1. Finish list of 101 things

TOGETHER
2. Read a book together

3. Spend nothing for two weeks

4. Create list of life goals
5. Go canoeing

6. Go to a scotch tasting
7. See the orchestra
8. Bike ride & picnic
9. See a live sporting event
10. Go to 4 concerts
11. Go camping
12. Go sailing
13. Visit a museum
14. Get a pet
15. See a meteor shower
16. Ride a tandem bicycle

HEALTH
17 Practice yoga at least 12 times per month

18 Take 30 yoga classes in 30 days

19 Hold crow pose for at least 5 breaths
20 Teach yoga
21 Participate in a race of some kind
22 Bike or walk to work when possible instead of driving
23 Work toward full splits on both sides
24 Try a new kind of exercise or class

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE
25 Go to my 10 year high school reunion

26 Get a passport
27 Go to France
28 Visit 3 new states (Maine, Alaska, TBD)
29 Go backpacking
30 Take a cross-country road trip

31 Visit a famous landmark I've never been to
32 See something that claims it's the “world's largest” of whatever that thing is
33 Do something that scares me
34 Go snowshoeing
35 Go skydiving
36 Visit the Boundary Waters
37 Go to the zoo
38 Meet somebody famous
39 Ride in a hot air balloon
40 Go to an amusement park
41 Visit the Mall of America
42 Swim with a dolphin
43 Visit a national park I've never been to
44 Go somewhere haunted

WRITING & LITERATURE

45 Participate in at least 4 poetry readings per year

46 Read at least 4 books per month
47 Write down all books read & movies watched for the duration
48 Get into at least 1 top-tier journal
49 Write at least 15 poems per month
50 Put together a solid full-length manuscript
51 Get 100 rejections per year (magazines, contests, etc.)
52 Get head shots taken by a real person instead of selfie-ing
53 Go on a writing retreat
54 Enter & win a writing contest
55 Take a class at the Loft
56 Publish another chapbook
57 Apply for a PhD program in creative writing
58 Write a short story
59 Attend at least 30 readings

ETC.

60 Try to buy mainly used clothing

61 Try 10 new board games
62 Do a new thing every day for 1 month
63 Go through my clothes & donate what I don't wear
64 Host a dinner party
65 Take a photo every day for a month
66 Get my weird tattoo covered up
67 See the Northern Lights
68 Go back to vegetarianism for at least a month
69 Sing Men In Black at karaoke
70 Throw something into a wood chipper
71 Milk a cow
72 Say yes more

MEDIA
73 Give up all social media for a week
74 Keep blog updated
75 See all movies on AFI top 100
76 Go to the drive-in
77 Watch all the movies we own that I haven't seen
78 Give up internet games for a year

KITCHEN
79 Cook 20 new recipes
80 Try being vegan for 1 month
81 Try 5 new foods
82 Eat something I grew myself
83 Be diligent about composting and recycling
84 Cook all my own meals for a month (no dining out)

HOME
85 Tackle the books
86 Organize the kitchen
87 Plant something
88 Get a huge bookshelf
89 Wall art
90 Get a new computer
91 Get real bedroom furniture (dressers)
92 Decorate the bedroom so it doesn't look like a prison cell

LOCAL
93 Try 10 new restaurants
94 Go on a brewery tour
95 Go to the Minnesota State Fair
96 Minneapolis movies in the park or music in the park
97 Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight showing
98 Go to the farmer's market
99 Go to 4 different summer festivals
100 Explore Minneapolis & St. Paul on my bike
101 Have dinner on a rooftop patio

Doing New Things

I recently made a pact with a friend to try and do a new thing every day and see how long I could run with it. The conversation came up while we were at Psycho Suzi's Motor Lounge in Minneapolis, because we ordered a huge drink that was on fire; something I'd never done before. I remembered having done a similar challenge when I was in high school as a new year's resolution and I've been thinking about that list ever since. Today, I found it, and I'm typing it up: all the weird stuff I did in 2004. I only made it to May, and the list is incomplete. Many days are missing, but this is truly too weird not to put up on the internet.

I'm not changing the way that I wrote anything down because it's just living proof I've always been super weird. Also, a lot of these things seem pretty unsafe, or they are just gross. Some of them I have no idea what they mean.

JANUARY
1. Ate paste
2. Gauged ears
3. Drank Dr. Pepper Red Fusion
4. Called the last person listed in the phonebook & told him he won six dollars
5. Made a collage
6. Walked on tables during College Composition class
7. Gave a dog a barnacle
8. Threw a full pop at the side of a moving train
9. Bought CD of a band I've never heard of
10. Drove home from work with my knees
11. Smashed an egg in my fist
12. Cut my eyelashes
13. Screamed "FOOD FIGHT!" in the cafeteria
14. Wore 21 shirts at the same time
15. Danced in the street
16. Ate a post-it note
17. Rode in the trunk of a car
18. Tipped Denny's waitress $50
19. Wrote all over my body with Sharpies
20. Punched somebody
21. Got a professional massage
22. Ate a spoonful of cocoa powder
23. Did our own Mystery Science Theater 3k @ Brad's house
24. Sat in cemetery @ night & watched stars
25. Busted a gallon of milk
26. Wrote my name in blood
27. Wrote a threatening message on the mirror
28. Danced about my my unda-wears
29. Wore a lampshade on my head
30. Naked snow angel
31. Went poo in a bag

FEBRUARY
1. Yelled YAHOO! real loud in a New York Walmart, danced with parking cone on my head
2. Snowboarded
3. Farted in a jar
4. Wiped dry-erase board clean with face
5. Got a swirlie
6. Took No-Doz
7. Won a cake, smashed Sam's face in cake
8. Pierced fingernail
9. Shoved a friend into a door
10. Read book backwards
11. Asked strangers for food
12. Played flute in hotel lobby
13. Went inside a Krispy Kreme truck
14. Dyed hair black/brown
15. Serenaded Melissa at her window at night
16. Drank toilet water
17. Won a pageant for Miss East Oak Harbor. I hate you Laura.
18. Took a sleeping pill
19. Received anonymous gift
20. Two hour Mad Libs
21. Lied & got away with it
22. Watched Aqua Teen Hunger Force
23. Wrote on Grant's forehead with marker
24. Told customer to have a bad day
25.
26. Depansted Alana
27. Took part in a successful surprise party
28. Witnessed a man leg waxing
29. Broke into abandoned insane asylum

MARCH
1. Stood under a helicopter as it took off
2. Sang Josh Groban song @ lunch while standing on chair
3. Wore nametag at work that said "Funk Master B"
4. Hardcore papercut
5. Saw MeWithoutYou, signed up for PETA
6. Scootered all over town
7. Knocked over toothpick container @ Denny's
8.
9. Dressed up like a secret agent
10.
11.
12. Sent mass amounts of letters
13.
14.
15.
16.
17. Box fort
18.
19.
20.
21. Freezer crisis
22. Got trophy
23.
24. Handcuffed to somebody while driving
25. Wore makeup that made it look like I was beat up
26. Acted in a play
27. Went to a bar
28. Told somebody exactly what I thought of them
29. Started a fight with a kid I didn't know
30. Got a tattoo
31. Read a comic book

APRIL
1. Ran down the street in the rain screaming
2. 50-person game of Mad Libs
3. Drove through gigantic puddle
4. House sat
5. Threw up orange soda
6. Made soup for a sick friend
7. Chased somebody like a zombie
8. Recorded a song I helped write
9. Shot a music video
10. Sat on the roof
11. Put candle out with fingers
12. Got accused of breaking into the high school (I did)
13. Took all the labels off a friend's canned food and taped them to the wall
14. Made 20-foot chain out of coat hangers
15. Interviewed kindergarteners, ate part of a crayon
16. Shook hands with John for five minutes
17. Pillow fight with myself
18.
19.
20. Franklin Park boobs
21.
22. Brushed teeth w/ grape soda
23.
24.
25.
26. Yelled at boss
27. Witnessed an explosion, filed police report
28. Changed pants in car
29. Showered with clothes on
30.

MAY
1. Played hide & seek in cars
2. Dance Dance Revolution
3.
4.
5.
6. Went to Chicago
7. Saw Blue Man Group
8. Ate at Medieval Times
9.
10.
11. Bandage arms!!!
12. Walked around with zipper down on purpose


That's where it ends. The new things I'm trying this year, ten years later, are a little less weird. Maybe.