Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Doing New Things

I recently made a pact with a friend to try and do a new thing every day and see how long I could run with it. The conversation came up while we were at Psycho Suzi's Motor Lounge in Minneapolis, because we ordered a huge drink that was on fire; something I'd never done before. I remembered having done a similar challenge when I was in high school as a new year's resolution and I've been thinking about that list ever since. Today, I found it, and I'm typing it up: all the weird stuff I did in 2004. I only made it to May, and the list is incomplete. Many days are missing, but this is truly too weird not to put up on the internet.

I'm not changing the way that I wrote anything down because it's just living proof I've always been super weird. Also, a lot of these things seem pretty unsafe, or they are just gross. Some of them I have no idea what they mean.

1. Ate paste
2. Gauged ears
3. Drank Dr. Pepper Red Fusion
4. Called the last person listed in the phonebook & told him he won six dollars
5. Made a collage
6. Walked on tables during College Composition class
7. Gave a dog a barnacle
8. Threw a full pop at the side of a moving train
9. Bought CD of a band I've never heard of
10. Drove home from work with my knees
11. Smashed an egg in my fist
12. Cut my eyelashes
13. Screamed "FOOD FIGHT!" in the cafeteria
14. Wore 21 shirts at the same time
15. Danced in the street
16. Ate a post-it note
17. Rode in the trunk of a car
18. Tipped Denny's waitress $50
19. Wrote all over my body with Sharpies
20. Punched somebody
21. Got a professional massage
22. Ate a spoonful of cocoa powder
23. Did our own Mystery Science Theater 3k @ Brad's house
24. Sat in cemetery @ night & watched stars
25. Busted a gallon of milk
26. Wrote my name in blood
27. Wrote a threatening message on the mirror
28. Danced about my my unda-wears
29. Wore a lampshade on my head
30. Naked snow angel
31. Went poo in a bag

1. Yelled YAHOO! real loud in a New York Walmart, danced with parking cone on my head
2. Snowboarded
3. Farted in a jar
4. Wiped dry-erase board clean with face
5. Got a swirlie
6. Took No-Doz
7. Won a cake, smashed Sam's face in cake
8. Pierced fingernail
9. Shoved a friend into a door
10. Read book backwards
11. Asked strangers for food
12. Played flute in hotel lobby
13. Went inside a Krispy Kreme truck
14. Dyed hair black/brown
15. Serenaded Melissa at her window at night
16. Drank toilet water
17. Won a pageant for Miss East Oak Harbor. I hate you Laura.
18. Took a sleeping pill
19. Received anonymous gift
20. Two hour Mad Libs
21. Lied & got away with it
22. Watched Aqua Teen Hunger Force
23. Wrote on Grant's forehead with marker
24. Told customer to have a bad day
26. Depansted Alana
27. Took part in a successful surprise party
28. Witnessed a man leg waxing
29. Broke into abandoned insane asylum

1. Stood under a helicopter as it took off
2. Sang Josh Groban song @ lunch while standing on chair
3. Wore nametag at work that said "Funk Master B"
4. Hardcore papercut
5. Saw MeWithoutYou, signed up for PETA
6. Scootered all over town
7. Knocked over toothpick container @ Denny's
9. Dressed up like a secret agent
12. Sent mass amounts of letters
17. Box fort
21. Freezer crisis
22. Got trophy
24. Handcuffed to somebody while driving
25. Wore makeup that made it look like I was beat up
26. Acted in a play
27. Went to a bar
28. Told somebody exactly what I thought of them
29. Started a fight with a kid I didn't know
30. Got a tattoo
31. Read a comic book

1. Ran down the street in the rain screaming
2. 50-person game of Mad Libs
3. Drove through gigantic puddle
4. House sat
5. Threw up orange soda
6. Made soup for a sick friend
7. Chased somebody like a zombie
8. Recorded a song I helped write
9. Shot a music video
10. Sat on the roof
11. Put candle out with fingers
12. Got accused of breaking into the high school (I did)
13. Took all the labels off a friend's canned food and taped them to the wall
14. Made 20-foot chain out of coat hangers
15. Interviewed kindergarteners, ate part of a crayon
16. Shook hands with John for five minutes
17. Pillow fight with myself
20. Franklin Park boobs
22. Brushed teeth w/ grape soda
26. Yelled at boss
27. Witnessed an explosion, filed police report
28. Changed pants in car
29. Showered with clothes on

1. Played hide & seek in cars
2. Dance Dance Revolution
6. Went to Chicago
7. Saw Blue Man Group
8. Ate at Medieval Times
11. Bandage arms!!!
12. Walked around with zipper down on purpose

That's where it ends. The new things I'm trying this year, ten years later, are a little less weird. Maybe.

1 comment:

  1. You know what's funny? I didn't read the full paragraph at the top but just started reading the list and totally thought this was from this year. I kind of wondered about lunch and cafeteria references, but, you know. You know.