The past two or three days, I have been feeling a little more myself. A little happier. A little more normal, if that's ever a thing that a living person can feel. On account of what, I can't really say. But I have been writing more down, which is making me feel lighter. I have been accomplishing small tasks each day. Clean out purse. Take out the recycling. Spend an hour grading papers. Water the plants. These are the things you can do.
I even wrote a poem yesterday. I also watched approximately one metric buttload of Netflix. I watched a few episodes of New Girl, even though I've seen all three seasons on Netflix already. I've probably watched it through three times, at least. It calms me down to spend time with characters. (I am an avid re-watcher: Buffy, X-Files, West Wing, Californication, 30 Rock, Weeds, etc. etc. etc.)
Will and I are also making our way through Seinfeld. It's funny how many of these episodes I remember vividly, having not seen it since it was on TV when I was a kid. These characters stick with you. I have a feeling it would be difficult to write a show like Seinfeld today. So much of the humor is based in society being analog. It makes me nostalgic.
Last night I also watched "The Double," with Jesse Eisenberg. It's based on a Dostoyevsky novella. It was pretty good--I gave it three stars on Netflix (I'm stingy with my Netflix stars). Jesse Eisenberg is compelling. The two characters he plays are so opposite, both convincing. His voice at times reminds me so much of Michael Cera it's outrageous. The whole tenor of the movie was dark, though sometimes funny, a dystopian kind of feel. I haven't read the novella, but it makes me want to. Reminds me somewhat of what little Kafka I have read. The only other Dostoyevsky books I've read are Notes From Underground (in college) and Crime and Punishment (in high school). Yes, I'm ridiculously under-read.
I'm going to try to write another poem today, and maybe make muffins. Go to yoga. I feel like I'm taking my life back, somewhat. One small task at a time.