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Day Six

Day six. I have an index card tacked up above my desk that just says "show up for the words." So far, I have. In the past week, I've written over 3,000 non-poetry words. I've written four poems. Fifteen journal entries. Three blog posts.

Maybe I'll blog more this year. Maybe I won't. Either way, it doesn't matter. We're all going to die. In the relative scheme of things, we're all going to die pretty soon.

Last night I watched Hard Candy. A little Ellen Page kicking pedophile ass. It was a pretty good movie. I'm also finishing up my third book of the year. I have a pile of books next to my desk I'd like to get to. But the new semester starts on Tuesday. Soon after that, I begin working in the factory again. I always set high expectations for myself, and I rarely meet them.

Maybe I ought to start putting things on my to-do list like "drink a beer" or "complain about my body."

Tuesday after my first day of class, I'm leaving for Indiana to do a reading with my two favorite blonde poets. We're getting tattoos, and then we're going on a writing retreat. I have been looking forward to this for months. I'm almost sad to see it come and go.

But today I will water the plants and make bread. I will make a packing list. I will clean my desk, do laundry, put away my clothes. I will wash my face, and walk outside. I will do small things well.

All the Good

Here are some good things that happened last year (yes some good things happened last year):

I wrote 56 poems.
In a year where I spent over two months in the hospital, I count this as a win. This averages out to about one a week. Hopefully this year I write many more.

I read 48 books and 13 short stories. 
See previous post for details.

On top of all that reading, I did a lot more watching.
Which, for now, I'm going to be okay with. I watched about 90 movies. I watched 55 seasons of TV shows. This year, I'd like to flop the reading and watching. I'm aiming for 100 books. I don't have a goal for movies and TV.

I practiced yoga.
Not a lot. But I did practice. I've been practicing yoga for over four years now. My goal for this year is to go 2-3 times per week. If I make it a habit again, the hope is that I'll want to go more.

I got rejected.
Again, not a lot. I usually aim for 100 rejections in a calendar year. It means that I send out my work. I got 28 rejections in 2016.

I got a four acceptances.
From THRUSH, Word Riot, Poetry City USA, and Vinyl.

My nieces were born.
I now have two more nieces, who were both born in November of 2016! Audrey and Katie Beth.

I fell in the alleyway
while trying to go put my face into a gigantic cardboard cutout of a lobster.

I did eight poetry readings.
Poets & Pints, Three Blonde Poets, Ali O'Reilly's book release party, The Red Stag Supper Club: New Shit Show (Twin Cities Lit Crawl), Altcomics, Poetry City USA @ Sisyphus Brewing, First Mondays @ Troubadour, The Christmas Spectacular)

I became a little obsessed with Patti Smith
after reading Just Kids.

I turned 30
and refuse to feel weird about it because I'm coming into myself and hey that's cool.

I walked.
A lot. Like, over 300 miles. It's what I spent most of my summer doing. I'd just leave the house with no direction and come back a couple of hours later. I found a lot of weird trails by the Mississippi. One time I helped a lady parallel park her car.

I took two aerial yoga classes.
Taking an aerial yoga class was on the list I made of 40 things I want to do before I'm 40. I did this twice! It was fun and hard and I'll probably do it again. I also took a barre class, which kicked my butt.

I cooked a duck.
And we ate the whole thing in one sitting.

A LOT of D&D got done.
Carlton Beerjug got into some serious shenanigans this year. He's a rogue elf, and he likes to steal.

My new chapbook came out!
It's called OVER THE MOON and you can order it online.

I bought a lot of lipstick.
Like, a lot.

I spent a week on Mallard Island.
With nine other women poets from Minnesota. It was one of the most magical weeks of my life. And I get to do it again next summer.

I won tickets to a Very Weird Concert.
By randomly calling into The Current when I heard "be the tenth caller now! Here's Garbage while you dial." I won tickets to see The Starfolk and Ice Palace.

I ate, approximately, 358 avocados.
This number was approximated using my memory and all of the pictures of avocados I posted to my Instagram account.

I spent five days camping and canoeing in the Boundary Waters.
It was pretty intense. I had never been to the BW before. We had to carry all of our supplies, canoes, and tents/packs on our backs while portaging between lakes. But it was beautiful. I caught a walleye and a turtle stole it.

My husband and I celebrated our six-year wedding anniversary.
We stayed in and made Indian food because it was like, -25 degrees outside.

I survived. 
And for many days of 2016, I didn't think I would.

Some Things Happened

This year, some things happened. I blogged about none of it. I spent a lot of this year in the hospital. I spent a lot of this year walking. I spent a lot of this year reading and watching TV and movies (mostly watching TV and movies). As with all other year-ends, I realized that I want to write more down. I've started doing that on paper, and in secret places online where I'm ferreting away ideas and fears and gibberish and stupid thoughts I need to get out. But maybe I'll start writing more here, too.

This year, some things happened. Maybe now I will try to capture the good things.

I read forty-eight books and thirteen short stories (my absolute favorites have been bolded):

Books

Flow - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T.S. Eliot
My Feelings - Nick Flynn 
O Holy Insurgency - Mary Biddinger
Blood Dazzler - Patricia Smith
Things and Flesh - Linda Gregg
Floating, Brilliant, Gone - Franny Choi
Some Ether - Nick Flynn
The Year of Magical Thinking - Joan Didion 
Basil - Katharine Rauk (re-read)
Slouching Towards Bethlehem - Joan Didion
Tender Buttons - Gertrude Stein
House of Light - Mary Oliver
Some Planet - Jamie Mortara 
A Wrinkle in Time - Madeline L'Engle (re-read)
Transformations - Anne Sexton
Harriet the Spy - Louise Fitzhugh (re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-read)
Just Kids - Patti Smith 
The Wind in the Willows - Keneth Graham
Ronia, the Robber's Daughter - Astrid Lindgren
Palliative for a Pretty - Matt Mauch
War of the Foxes - Richard Siken
Step Aside, Pops! - Kate Beaton 
Song of Myself - Walt Whitman (re-read)
Mathematics, a Beautiful Elsewhere - Jean-Pierre Bourguignon
Dearest Creature - Amy Gerstler (re-read)
Books & Islands in Ojibwe Country - Louise Erdrich
Lucifer at the Starlite - Kim Addonizio (re-read)
Happpy Apocalypse Day - Luke Pingel
Chapel of Inadvertent Joy - Jeffrey McDaniel
Prelude to Bruise - Saeed Jones
Buried Choirs - Katharine Rauk
Night Sky With Exit Wounds - Ocean Vuong 
The Threatened Everything - Paula Cisewski
The Opposite of Work - Hugh Behm-Steinberg
Seven Days Now - Erica Anderson-Senter 
Things That Are - Amy Leach (re-re-re-read)
The Awakening - Kate Chopin (re-re-re-re-re-read)
Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal Times - Ed. Neil Astley (re-read)
Steal Like an Artist - Austin Kleon (re-read)
The Princess and the Goblin - George MacDonald (re-read from long, long ago)
Ultra Violet - Chris Monroe
Miracle Mile - Ed Ochester (re-read)
Horse, Flower, Bird - Kate Bernheimer
Breath in Every Room - Tami Haaland
Bird by Bird - Anne Lamott (re-read)
What the Witch Left - Ruth Chew (re-read, again, from long, long ago)
How a Mother Weaned Her Girl From Fairy Tales - Kate Bernheimer

Short stories (all re-read)

The Fat Man in History - Peter Carey
The Canebreak - Mohammed Mrabet
Ysrael - Junot Diaz
The House Behind - Lydia Davis
The Old Man Slave and the Mastiff - Patrick Chamoiseau
Mark of Satan - Joyce Carol Oates
The Girl Who Left Her Sock on the Floor - Deborah Eisenberg
Night Women - Edwidge Danticat 
In the Shadow of War - Ben Okri
Midnight and I'm Not Famous Yet - Barry Hannah
Helix - Banana Yoshimoto
Reflections of Spring - Duong Thu Huong
The Courtship of Mr Lyon - Angela Carter

Many of these books and stories were ones I re-read, either because I was teaching them or I wanted to revisit them personally. Of the forty-eight books I read, thirty-four were new to me. Four were (are) manuscripts-in-the-making by my friends and Twin Cities Poet Peers. Twenty-seven were collections of poetry. Eight books were non-fiction. Six were young adult books. Two were comics.

And shamefully, here is the list of what I watched this year, favorites bolded.

Movies

The Force Awakens
Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban  (re-watch)
The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus
Hot Fuzz  (re-watch)
We Need to Talk About Kevin
The Giant Mechanical Man  (re-watch)
The History Boys
Ballerina
Pulp Fiction  (re-watch)
Jumanji  (re-watch)
Silver Linings Playbook
Sisters
Drumline  (re-watch)
Bruce Almighty  (re-watch)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Hail Caesar
Sunset Boulevard
Breathless
Gone Girl
Hateful Eight
Bring it On  (re-watch)
The Lion King  (re-watch)
Se7en  (re-watch)
Bridget Jones's Diary  (re-watch)
Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid
Mary Poppins  (re-watch)
Hush
Housebound
My Girl  (re-watch)
Sixteen Candles  (re-watch)
The Land Before Time  (re-watch)
Clueless  (re-watch)
Grease  (re-watch)
Tell No One
Final Destination
Pretty in Pink
Now and Then  (re-watch)
Fast Times at Ridgemont High  (re-watch)
Easy A  (re-watch)
The Legend of Hell House
Pirates of the Caribbean: Black Pearl  (re-watch)
American Beauty  (re-watch)
The Ward
Sister Act  (re-watch)
To Catch a Thief
The Ring  (re-watch)
Legally Blonde  (re-watch)
Kristy
Cape Fear
The Davinci Code
Empire Records
Don't Say a Word  (re-watch)
Back to the Future  (re-watch)
We Are Still Here
Frances Ha  (re-watch)
The Taking of Deborah Logan
Creep
Grey Gardens
Say Anything  (re-watch)
Saw  (re-watch)
Back to the Future II  (re-watch)
A Ballerina's Tale
Darling
Jeepers Creepers  (re-watch)
Sleepy Hollow
Wetlands
The Goonies  (re-watch)
500 Days of Summer  (re-watch)
Eulogy  (re-watch)
Blazing Saddles  (re-watch)
The Fellowship of the Ring  (re-watch)
The Inbetweeners 2
Hocus Pocus  (re-watch)
Scream  (re-watch)
Scream 2  (re-watch)
21
Napoleon Dynamite  (re-watch)
O Brother, Where Art Thou  (re-watch)
The Others
Burn After Reading  (re-watch)
National Lampoons Animal House  (re-watch)
The Babadook
10 Things I Hate About You  (re-watch)
White Girl
A Christmas Story  (re-watch)
Home Alone  (re-watch)
Dazed & Confused  (re-watch)
The Uninvited
Rogue One

TV Shows

New Girl (s1, s4, s5)  (seasons one and two: re-watch)
Dance Academy (s1, s2, s3) (twice) (re-watch)
Arrested Development (s1, s2, s3) (twice)  (re-watch)
Seinfeld (s6, s7, s8, s9)  (re-watch)
30 Rock (s1, s2)  (re-watch)
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (s1, s2)  (season one: re-watch)
Veronica Mars (s1)  (re-watch)
The Lizzie Borden Chronicles (s1)
The Killing (s1, s2, s3, s4)  (seasons one through three: re-watch)
Lady Dynamite (pilot only)
Broadchurch (s1, s2)
The United States of Tara (s1, s2, s3)  (re-watch)
Stranger Things (s1)
American Horror Story (s1, s2, s5)  (seasons one and two: re-watch)
Black Books (s1, s2, s3)  (re-watch)
The Fall (s3)
Poirot (s1)
Wallander (s4)
The IT Crowd (s5)
Californication (s1, s2, s3)  (re-watch)
The Brak Show (s1, s2)  (season one: re-watch)
Gilmore Girls (s1)  (re-watch)
Firefly (s1)  (re-watch)
How I Met Your Mother (s1)  (re-watch)
The OA (s1)
Shameless (s1)

In total, I watched 89 movies (far more than last year), forty-eight of which were re-watches. Yowza. I watched 55 seasons of TV shows. This is my confession.

Maybe next year will see me reading more books and watching less TV. Maybe not. Anyway, I'm going to keep writing it down.

Get Out Of Here, 2015

I'm only partly joking when I say that 2015 should get out of here. Obviously, first thing, I have no control over time, so I don't really have a choice in the matter. The Earth keeps spinning rapidly on its axis, and I eat breakfast and go shopping and the universe does not look out for me. Second thing is, disregarding some of my more prominent troubles (mostly medical), 2015 wasn't as bad as I maybe thought it was. I often get stuck on the bad things that happen and can only see those. (Take middle school, for instance.) But I made myself sit down and make a list of the things I accomplished in 2015, and I would like to put them here.

I met my nephew.

My sister had a son, Rocco, in November of 2014. We were going to travel down to see him that Thanksgiving, but we got in a car accident just a few hours into Wisconsin, totaled our car, and had to come home. We were able to go down and spend a week with them over Easter, and it was amazing.

I completed my first Whole 30 Challenge.

In February/March, I tried Whole 30 with a few friends, and remarkably I stuck with it. I cultivated some good eating and health habits that have stuck with me (somewhat...), and I felt really great, now that I think about it. I think I may do another Whole 30 this year, starting in February.

I taught my first J-term class.

I pitched and taught a class on ghost stories in January at St. Thomas. There were only five students in the class, and it was one of the more fun courses I've taught to date. I'm also looking forward to this coming semester, when I will teach a class on poets under 30.

My chapbook, OH NO EVERYTHING, was released in March.

My buddy Aaron King started a press expressly for the purpose of publishing my poems, for which I could not be more grateful. We had a big party on my birthday. I turned 29, and my book turned 1 day old. If you want to check it out but didn't get a print copy, you can get it online as an ebook for a buck!

I took over the Maeve's Reading Series in NE Minneapolis.

Previous curator and founder of the Maeve's Cafe Reading Series, Matt Mauch, handed over the reins to the poetry reading series at AWP, which was the first reading I helped with, and the last one Matt had a hand in. I hosted my pilot reading in June, and our next one will be next Saturday (an all-women lineup)! I can't wait.

I played the hell out of some Dungeons and Dragons.

Having never played before, it was interesting to embark on this magical journey with a bunch of other people who had also never played before. Our intrepid Dungeon Master, Reinhardt, explained everything (many times over) as we pillaged and murdered, and eventually we got the hang of it. My character is an elf named Carlton Beerjug. I don't feel like I have to say much else.

I did a buttload of poetry readings.

Among the highlights: The Soap Factory/Talking Image Connection, Poets & Pints @ Fair State Brewing Cooperative, The New Sh!t Show @ the Fox Egg Gallery, the Feminist Comedy Block Party @ Lowertown St Paul, The Great Twin Cities Poetry Read (where I won a drawing for real, actual money!), Independent Bookstore Day @ Boneshaker Books, Dead Media, Subterranean Reading with Steve Roggenbuck @ AWP, and the Trotter's Cafe New & Nearby Series.

Got experience working in a factory.

Over the summer I worked in an aluminum can making factory in downtown St. Paul. I'm hoping to go back next year. I did lots of random administrative things, organized weird rooms that hadn't been organized in years, inspected cans, and generally was a jack of all trades, which is my specialty.

Wrote over 200 poems.

I got a lot of writing done in the factory on my breaks and lunches. I wrote about 100 poems during the three months I was employed there. I didn't send very much out in 2015, but I'm planning on getting my butt into gear on that front in 2016.

I read 65 books.

For details, see my previous post.

I got a few acceptance in the poetry world.

I was in one of the last issues of PANK before they changed hands.
I have two poems coming out in an issue of Gargoyle Magazine this month!
Two poems were published in an issue of WomenArts Quarterly early this year.
And I got an acceptance from BOXCAR; a poem for which I was nominated for a Pushcart Prize!

I also won a Best of the Net Award.

My poem "Eve" was published originally in Sundog Lit and I got the news in February that it won Best of the Net for 2014. This news made me dance in the living room.

- - -

I also did a bunch of other exciting things: celebrated weddings, my own five-year wedding anniversary, and a trivia win at Galactic Pizza before my friend Kristin moved away. I filmed some episodes (with Kristin) of What Did You Look Up On Wikipedia, including one about yoga and farts (my favorite so far).  I got a record player, played a LOT of board games, and did a lot of yoga (worked on handstand and floating, which are my two favorite things to do in yoga). I went blonde again, learned how to throw a football, went to a baseball game, and found competent medical care (FINALLY). I went on a few short vacations and one long one, to Florida. I published some amazing work with my partners Molly and Jenn in Tinderbox Poetry Journal. I got stung by a wasp, got an MRI, and laughed a lot, cried a lot, and spent time with people who matter. I think that counts as a year that's worth it.

A Year of Consumption

No, I don't mean I got TB this year, but if you could get TB from TV I definitely would have.

As many of you probably know, I like to track everything I read and watch during the calendar year. That way, I can see what I spend most of my time consuming (as if I didn't already know). It's also interesting to see what I rewatch, what I reread, and how my reading and watching vary from year to year in terms of what kinds of things I'm into, or how much I read or watch. This year I'm thrilled that my reading list is a tad longer than last year's reading list, due mostly to the fact that over the summer I worked at an aluminum can making factory and took the bus to work. That's when I did most of my reading--I did about two hours of commuting per day.

I ended up watching 30 movies, and (I can't believe I'm about to say this) 53 seasons of different TV shows. I also ended up watching some other odds & ends, like The Ultimate Guide to the Presidents, which is only 8 episodes, and which I didn't count as a season of a TV show. I spent a lot of my time staring at a screen this year.

BUT, I also read 65 books, plus some other manuscripts I read for a class I took with Todd Boss at the Loft about ordering a book of poetry. I listed some of those manuscripts here, whose titles I remembered or had written down. In addition to those manuscripts, I read MOSTLY poetry, though some graphic novels (kind of a first for me!), fiction, and non-fiction were thrown in for good measure.

So here's the list: everything I read and watched in 2015, though we have a few days left, and no doubt I'll be adding a movie or two to the list before the end of the year. There are also a few books near the end of my reading list that I am finishing up, and hopefully will close the book on (heh) before 2016. My most, most favorite new books I read this year are in bold, which means you should definitely read them, though one of them isn't published yet (!!!!)

READING LIST

Black Aperture - Matt Rasmussen
The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson
Any Anxious Body - Chrissy Kolaya
The Dig - Lynn Emanuel
The Wild Iris - Louise Gluck (reread)
The Turn of the Screw - Henry James (reread)
The Tell-Tale Heart - EA Poe (reread)
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow - Washington Irving (reread)
The Monkey's Paw - W.W. Jacobs (reread)
Self Portrait in a Convex Mirror - John Ashberry
1408 - Stephen King
Citizen - Claudia Rankine
Women Who Run With Holsteins - Jeanne Lutz
Poems - Lee Kisling
Sleeping With the Dictionary - Harryette Mullen
Things That Are - Amy Leach (reread)
Don't Let Me Be Lonely - Claudia Rankine
Beautiful Pathology - Katharine Rauk
Pyramid of Lemons - Carolyn Williams-Noren
You Are Not Dead - Wendy Xu
The Turn of the Screw - Henry James (again, for a class) (re-reread)
The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera (reread)
Flow - Del Doughty (reread)
These Are the Gloria Stories - Kelin Loe
Land Sparing - Gabriella Klein
Blues for Jocasta - Timothy Otte
Zion - TJ Jarrett
Bad Feminist - Roxane Gay
Don't Let Me Be Lonely - Claudia Rankine (again, because why not) (reread)
What the Living Do - Marie Howe
Still Another Day - Pablo Neruda, translated by William O'Daly
At the Drive-In Volcano - Aimee Nezhukumatathil
Haunts- Laura Cherry
[insert] boy - Danez Smith
Urban Tumbleweed - Harryette Mullen
Memoir of the Hawk - James Tate
The Road - Cormac McCarthy (reread)
You Are a Little Bit Happier Than I Am - Tao Lin
What Do We Know - Mary Oliver
The Captain Asks for a Show of Hands - Nick Flynn
Staying Alive - ed. Neil Astley (poetry anthology)
Hum - Jamaal May
The Art of the Story - ed. Daniel Halpern (short story anthology)
Ariel - Sylvia Plath (reread)
NOX - Anne Carson
Wind in a Box - Terrance Hayes
Steal Like an Artist - Austin Kleon
The Awakening - Kate Chopin (reread)
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
Debbie's Inferno - Anne Emond
Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson (listened to this on tape)
What It Is - Lynda Barry
Show Your Work! - Austin Kleon
Lewis Carroll in Wonderland: The Life & Times of Alice & Her Creator - Stephanie Lovett Stoffel
If the Tabloids Are True What Are You? - Matthea Harvey
An Unquiet Mind - Kay Redfield Jamison
Life on Mars - Tracy K. Smith
The Empathy Exams - Leslie Jamison
skin, sin, shine - Erica Anderson-Senter
Autobiography of Red - Anne Carson
American Barricade - Danniel Schoonebeek
Live My Lief - Steven Roggenbuck
Through No Fault of My Own - Coco Irvine
Some Planet - Jamie Mortara
Native Guard - Natasha Trethewey



WATCH LIST

The Desolation of Smaug
Hauntings: Is It Real? (watched twice, for a class)
Don't Trust the B*** in Apt 23 (seasons 1 & 2)
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (rewatch)
Friends (season 1) (rewatch)
A Long Way Down
The Haunting (watched twice, for a class)
Star Trek TNG (season 1)
La Vie de Boheme
The West Wing (seasons 2 & 3) (rewatch)
Dirty Pretty Things
1408 (for a class) (rewatch)
The Fall (season 2)
It's Such a Beautiful Day
House (seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) (rewatch, though it's been ages since I've seen House)
Parks & Rec (two episodes only)
Californication (seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) (rewatch)
Weeds (seasons 1 & 2) (rewatch)
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (season 1)
Arrested Development (seasons 1, 2, 3) (rewatch)
Mean Girls (rewatch)
Twin Peaks (seasons 1 & 2) (rewatch)
Louie (season 4)
Top Gun (rewatch)
Game of Thrones (season 2)
Monty Python & the Holy Grail (rewatch)
Wet Hot American Summer (season 1)
How I Met Your Mother (seasons 1 & 2) (rewatch)
Veronica Mars (seasons 1, 2, 3) (rewatch)
The Rescuers
Dale & Tucker Vs. Evil
Hocus Pocus (rewatch)
New Girl (seasons 1 & 2 [twice], season 3) (rewatch)
Moonrise Kingdom (rewatch)
Dance Academy (season 3)
X-files (season 2) (rewatch)
American Horror Story (season 4)
American Psycho (rewatch)
Zombeavers (gave up on this one)
Orange Is the New Black (season 3)
American Psycho 2 (also gave up on this)
30 Rock (part of season 1) (rewatch)
Gilmore Girls (season 1) (rewatch)
Seinfeld (seasons 1, 2, 3, 4) (rewatch)
Darjeeling Limited (rewatch)
Hannibal (season 2)
Girls (season 1, partially)
Juno (rewatch)
Gothika
The Ultimate Guide to the Presidents (8 episodes)
Killer Legends (this was truly terrible---I did other things while watching it)
Stonehearst Asylum
Planet Earth (episodes 1 & 2) (rewatch)
The Double
Psych (just the pilot episode)
Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown (in progress)
Mind of a Chef (season 1)
Jackass 2 (rewatch)
The Simpsons (4 episodes) (rewatch)
Burlesque
Pulp Fiction (rewatch)
The Following (season 2)
Love Actually (rewatch)
Home Alone (rewatch)
White Christmas

Travels, La Croix, and a Pushcart

Things have been just crazy around here lately. Will and I went to Florida over Thanksgiving and it was glorious. We did a lot of sitting outside reading, sitting on the porch reading, and, well, lots of eating. I always eat seafood when I go on vacation because I so rarely eat it at home, and it's one of my favorite things to eat. We also got to hang out with my family, see a cannon get shot off, and tour the Castillo de San Marcos in St. Augustine.

Now we're home, and the end of the semester is in sight. We both have just two weeks left of teaching, and then about a metric buttload of papers to grade. My desk right now is atrocious. I sometimes use the coffee table as my desk if I'd rather be sitting on the couch while I work; this moment, it's littered with books, notebooks, and empty La Croix cans.

Somehow, even through all the traveling and grading, I managed to write twenty poems and read nine books in November. I'm unsure if this recent burst of productivity and diligence is due to the fact that I'm turning 30 in a few months or what, but I guess I shouldn't be asking any questions. I'll just take hold of this bull by the horns and keep going.

ALSO, I was literally writing this blog post when I got word that I have been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Boxcar Poetry Review nominated my poem "Genesis." I have never been nominated for a Pushcart before, and I'm not ashamed to admit I cried a little when I got word.  Now I must go and buy a bottle of champagne and pretend I'm not scared when I pop the cork.

XTREME POETING

I have been trying to write a little each day. It is working. I can feel myself coming back to myself. I work out what I think by writing it down. If I don't do that then yes, I am failing myself.

Somebody today told me that I use a lot of "extreme" words. (The kinds of words that tip you off to the idea that a true or false question should be marked 'false.' - Always, never, etc.) I refrained from making a joke about XTREME POETING.

I make an X in the calendar box when I write in my poem notebook. It has been a week. I have written for a week. The words are feeling more fluid when they come out. Not as it used to be, but I am in the process of recovering what has been lost. It is a long process.

Right now I am reading The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath. That damn girl could write. And she did write. The journals are 624 pages not counting the notes and the index of the book. Two journals were even omitted--the two journals she kept nearest to the end of her life. One of them "went missing" and the other was destroyed by Ted Hughes, which is fascinating to me. Destroyed.

I'm hoping to get more and more X's as the days go by. Write a poem. Feel more myself. Write a poem. Feel more myself. We're going to Florida next week, and I want to make sure I'm still writing, even when my schedule is not what it normally is. I'm looking forward to the beach and the warm weather. It snowed today. I thought I was ready for that, but I was not ready for that. I never am.

YIKES: What I've Seen This Year

Last year, I started writing down everything I read and watch. It's in a little notebook. I started at the front with the list of books I read and started at the back with the list of TV shows and movies I watched. I have a feeling if I keep doing this, the TV & movies portion of the book is going to eat outrageously through to the front of the notebook and take up most of the space. Right now I'm trying to read more, but it's funny to go through & look back at what I've watched. I even write down the failed movies--the ones I get twenty minutes into and say NOPE! Or the TV shows that don't pull me past the pilot episode.

Here's what I've watched so far this year, with a little more than six weeks left until 2016. I'll be a little ashamed if this list grows too much longer before December 31st, but I do like the practice of simply having a list:

The Desolation of Smaug
Hauntings: Is It Real? (watched twice, for a class)
Don't Trust the B*** in Apt 23 (seasons 1 & 2)
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas
Friends (season 1)
A Long Way Down
The Haunting (watched twice, for a class)
Star Trek TNG (season 1)
La Vie de Boheme
The West Wing (seasons 2 & 3)
Dirty Pretty Things
1408 (for a class)
The Fall (season 2)
It's Such a Beautiful Day
House (seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Parks & Rec (two episodes only)
Californication (seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Weeds (seasons 1 & 2)
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (season 1)
Arrested Development (seasons 1, 2, 3)
Mean Girls
Twin Peaks (seasons 1 & 2)
Louie (season 4)
Top Gun
Game of Thrones (season 2)
Monty Python & the Holy Grail
Wet Hot American Summer (season 1)
How I Met Your Mother (seasons 1 & 2)
Veronica Mars (seasons 1, 2, 3)
The Rescuers
Dale & Tucker Vs. Evil
Hocus Pocus
New Girl (seasons 1 & 2 [twice], season 3)
Moonrise Kingdom
Dance Academy (season 3)
X-files (season 2)
American Horror Story (season 4)
American Psycho
Zombeavers (gave up on this one)
Orange Is the New Black (season 3)
American Psycho 2 (also gave up on this)
30 Rock (part of season 1)
Gilmore Girls (season 1)
Seinfeld (seasons 1, 2, 3, 4)
Darjeeling Limited
Hannibal (season 2)
Girls (season 1, partially)
Juno
Gothika
The Ultimate Guide to the Presidents (8 episodes)
Killer Legends (this was truly terrible---I did other things while watching it)
Stonehearst Asylum
Planet Earth (episodes 1 & 2)
The Double
Psych (just the pilot episode)
Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown (in progress)

Book Rec: Steal Like an Artist

After reading my post a few days ago in which I was bemoaning not writing anything down lately, my friend Timothy Otte recommended a book to me: Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon. I requested it from the library that day, picked it up this morning and just finished reading it. I took a ridiculous amount of notes while reading: lists of other books to read, movies to check out, and things I want to incorporate into my own daily writing practice. I told another friend, this book got me fired up about reading and writing. And living.

Steal Like an Artist incorporates so many things I love. First of all, it's a list. The whole book is a list! And GOOD LORD do I love lists. I make a list every morning of all the things I want to get done each day. This is like a to-do list for the artist. But it's general and specific at the same time, so that no matter your discipline, you can adapt these practices to fit what you need.

I think that the idea that resonates the most with me here, as I've been saying for the past few days is: show up and do the work. Kleon writes, "Do the work every day, no matter what." But there's also a place for restrictions. If I only have fifteen minutes, I'll do the work in fifteen minutes. It becomes manageable. (Let's be real. I only really EVER spend fifteen minutes writing a poem. I have a very short attention span.)

If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend checking it out. It combines craft and inspiration in a really unique way. And there are so many charming doodles. I'm not a doodler, but maybe my heart is one. I loved these little doods.

This is a book that I plan on buying so I can keep it on my desk. I'm also planning to check out some more books like this one, if you have any good recommendations. I was just recommended Syllabus by Lynda Barry, which I've already requested from the library. I want to cash in on this inspiration and drive I've got going so that when it gets dull again, when the work gets hard, I know that it's possible: fifteen minutes a day, at least. I can show up and do that.

One Small Task at a Time

The past two or three days, I have been feeling a little more myself. A little happier. A little more normal, if that's ever a thing that a living person can feel. On account of what, I can't really say. But I have been writing more down, which is making me feel lighter. I have been accomplishing small tasks each day. Clean out purse. Take out the recycling. Spend an hour grading papers. Water the plants. These are the things you can do.

I even wrote a poem yesterday. I also watched approximately one metric buttload of Netflix. I watched a few episodes of New Girl, even though I've seen all three seasons on Netflix already. I've probably watched it through three times, at least. It calms me down to spend time with characters. (I am an avid re-watcher: Buffy, X-Files, West Wing, Californication, 30 Rock, Weeds, etc. etc. etc.)

Will and I are also making our way through Seinfeld. It's funny how many of these episodes I remember vividly, having not seen it since it was on TV when I was a kid. These characters stick with you. I have a feeling it would be difficult to write a show like Seinfeld today. So much of the humor is based in society being analog. It makes me nostalgic.

Last night I also watched "The Double," with Jesse Eisenberg. It's based on a Dostoyevsky novella. It was pretty good--I gave it three stars on Netflix (I'm stingy with my Netflix stars). Jesse Eisenberg is compelling. The two characters he plays are so opposite, both convincing. His voice at times reminds me so much of Michael Cera it's outrageous. The whole tenor of the movie was dark, though sometimes funny, a dystopian kind of feel. I haven't read the novella, but it makes me want to. Reminds me somewhat of what little Kafka I have read. The only other Dostoyevsky books I've read are Notes From Underground (in college) and Crime and Punishment (in high school). Yes, I'm ridiculously under-read.

I'm going to try to write another poem today, and maybe make muffins. Go to yoga. I feel like I'm taking my life back, somewhat. One small task at a time.

Logbook: The First Three Days

As I was complaining the other day about not writing enough down, not cataloging my life, a friend recommended a technique that Austin Kleon talks about here. Keeping a calendar of past events. Or, keeping a logbook.

I pulled out an old notebook that had failed food diary entries in it from earlier in 2015 and started writing down the cold hard facts. What did I do today? What did I eat? Who did I see? Today's my third day, and while I don't feel an enormous change in how I'm feeling re: not writing recently, it is kinda nice to just sit for five minutes and have something easy to put down on paper.

My entries are not as beautiful as Kleon's, whose little doodles are charming as hell (pictured right).

Today I'm going to try to write a poem, and I'm not going to beat myself up if it doesn't go well. Maybe I'll just write for fifteen minutes and see what I can crank out. Pretty low stakes.

Today is also my three-year yogaversary, so I'm thinking of practicing today, even though I already took a shower. A very good Rockin' Shower, with many over-the-top dances to Ace of Base and Men Without Hats. Of course, I will have to jot down my shower dances in my captain's log.

THIS Is What I Spend My Time Doing?

Okay, here I am, ten months later.

I would like to make a conscious effort to be writing more down. Even if I just write one thing down every day. Maybe not even here, necessarily, just someplace. On a scrap of paper. The only things I've been writing down lately are grocery lists and reminders on my hand re: school, grading, and sending announcements to my classes. Oh, and I've been writing announcements. And comments on essays. These things should count, but they don't.

I feel like I'm failing. And in a way, I am. I say I'm a writer but I'm failing to document even the smallest parts of my life. I don't journal anymore, and I don't blog. I tweet and I write updates on Facebook and I post my little pithy pictures to Instagram, but that's not a substitute for thinking. I feel like I figure out what I think by writing it down, and so in that way I'm failing myself.

These things came to me because I keep a log of everything I read and watch during the year, and I thought to myself, THIS is what I spend my time doing? I watch so much more than I read, and I write even less. Even if I wrote down a paragraph about each thing I read or watched, I think I would double my word count for the year, which is sad.

Anyway, this is me complaining. And writing something down. I hope it's a start.

I'm watching a documentary on Netflix right now about killers and urban legends, called "Killer Legends." It's bound to be terrible, but my brain needs a break. And my body needs popcorn.

Update: 101/1001

I took another look today at the list I made back in June (I wish were June right now) of the 101 things I wanted to complete in the next 1001 days. I have just 773 days left to complete everything on this list. Let's see what's up.

1. Finish list of 101 things (Completed 6/4/14)

TOGETHER
2. Read a book together (Things That Are – Amy Leach) This one is a bit of a cheat, because we both taught the book for our Fall 2014 classes, but I'm counting it anyway. 

3. Spend nothing for two weeks

4. Create list of life goals
5. Go canoeing

6. Go to a scotch tasting
7. See the orchestra
8. Bike ride & picnic (Completed 6/29/14)

9. See a live sporting event (Twins game! Completed 9/13/2014)
10. Go to 4 live concerts per year (Completed for 2014)

(2014: 4/4) (Zombie Pit Orchestra, Old Crow Medicine Show, Dred I Dredd, Jenny Lewis, Wilkinson James)
11. Go camping
12. Go sailing
13. Visit a museum (Shipwreck museum, Duluth MN)
14. Get a pet
15. See a meteor shower
16. Ride a tandem bicycle

HEALTH
17 Do yoga at least 12 times per month (6/33) (I slacked a few months near the end of 2014)

18 Take 30 yoga classes in 30 days

19 Hold crow pose for at least 5 breaths (Completed 6/10/14)
20 Teach yoga (Completed 6/5/14)
21 Participate in a race of some kind (do eating-based races count?)
22 Bike or walk to work when possible instead of driving
23 Work toward full splits on both sides
24 Try a new kind of exercise or class

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE
25 Go to my 10 year high school reunion (missed it)

26 Get a passport
27 Go to France
28 Visit 3 new states (Maine, Alaska, TBD)
29 Go backpacking
30 Take a cross-country road trip (Completed 7/1/2014: Minnesota to Vermont and back)

31 Visit a famous landmark I've never been to
32 See something that claims it's the “world's largest” of whatever that thing is
33 Do something that scares me (participated in Write Fight on TV!) (Completed 6/6/14)
34 Go snow shoeing
35 Go skydiving
36 Visit the Boundary Waters
37 Go to the zoo
38 Meet somebody famous
39 Ride in a hot air balloon
40 Go to an amusement park
41 Visit the Mall of America
42 Swim with a dolphin
43 Visit a national park I've never been to
44 Go somewhere haunted

WRITING & LITERATURE

45 Participate in at least 4 poetry reading events per year (2014, 2015, 2016)
(Compteted for 2014: Wunderkammer, The Soap Factory, Midstream, Write Fight, SHORE, Bennington Reunion reading, Rosalux Gallery, Maeve's, Magers & Quinn 20^th Anniversary party, Harriet Brewing, Sisyphus Brewing)

46 Read at least 4 books per month (3/33) (I've been a HUGE slacker in this arena)
47 Write down all books read & movies watched for the duration (8/33)
48 Get into at least 1 top-tier journal (0/1)
49 Write at least 15 poems per month (1/33)
50 Put together a solid full-length manuscript (working on this NOW!)
51 Get 100 rejections per calendar year (magazines, contests, etc.) (2014, 2015, 2016) (got 78 for 2014)
52 Get head shots taken by a real person instead of my iPhone
53 Go on a writing retreat
54 Enter & win a writing contest (Revolver's Write Fight II – 6/14)
55 Take a class at the Loft (Todd Boss manuscript class)

56 Publish another chapbook (OH NO EVERYTHING, coming out March 2015!)
57 Apply for a PhD program in creative writing
58 Write a short story
59 Attend at least 50 readings (9/50) (Write Fight II, SHORE, Bennington, Rosalux, Maeve's, Trotter's, Amy Leach, Harriet Brewing, Sisyphus Brewing)

ETC.

60 Try to buy mainly used clothing (Haven't bought anything new in ages!)

61 Try 10 new board games (5/10 : Lost Cities; Zombicide; Undermine; Lords of Waterdeep, The Resistance: Avalon)
62 Do a new thing every day for 1 month (Completed 6/22)
63 Go through my clothes & donate what I don't wear (Completed 6/6/14) (I'm going to have to do this one again)
64 Host a dinner party
65 Take a photo every day for a month (Completed July 1 2014)
66 Get my weird tattoo covered up
67 See the Northern Lights
68 Go back to vegetarianism
69 Sing Men In Black at karaoke (proudly done, but not well)
70 Throw something into a wood chipper
71 Milk a cow
72 Say yes more

MEDIA
73 Give up all social media for 1 week
74 Keep blog updated: at least 4 posts per month (1/33) (hahaha)
75 See all movies on AFI top 100 (28/100)
76 Go to the drive-in
77 Watch all the movies we own that I haven't seen
78 Give up internet games for a year (this is the year!)

KITCHEN
79 Cook 20 new recipes (4/20)

(roasted summer vegetable pasta, portobello mushroom burgers, potato skins, rosemary chicken)
80 Try being vegan for 1 month
81 Try 5 new foods (2/5: fish tacos, dates)
82 Eat something I grew myself (Basil)
83 Be diligent about composting and recycling (I've been pretty good about this so far!)
84 Cook all my own meals for a month (no dining out)

HOME
85 Tackle the books
86 Organize the kitchen
87 Plant something (basil, jade, dill)
88 Get a huge bookshelf
89 Wall art (we're on our way here, too)
90 Get a new computer
91 Get real bedroom furniture (dressers)
92 Decorate the bedroom so it doesn't look like a prison cell

LOCAL
93 Try 10 new restaurants (6/10)
(Cosi, Sea Salt, Twisted Fork, Leaning Tower of Pizza, Flashbacks, Salut Bar Americain)
94 Go on a brewery tour (Alaskan brewery, Fitger's)

95 Go to the Minnesota State Fair
96 Attend Minneapolis movies in the park or music in the park
97 Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight showing
98 Go to the farmer's market
99 Go to 4 summer festivals every summer
(Completed for 2014): (4/4) (Grand Old Day, Northern Spark, St. Cloud Art Crawl, Highland Fest)
100 Explore Minneapolis & St. Paul on my bike
101 Have dinner on a rooftop patio

Consumption: Not Just a Way to Die on the Oregon Trail

As part of my plan to use my time more wisely, I decided at the beginning of 2014 to write down all of the books and movies and TV shows (etc. etc.) that I consumed during the year. It's a good way to look back at my time, face myself in the mirror, and say aloud, Yes, I spent fourteen hours in the past two days watching Supernatural.

I lived up to the goal of writing all that down, but the list of books I read was curiously small. I started 2014 off pretty strong, having read more than ten books in January. Then things got weird. But I'm presenting to you the lists of things I consumed in 2014, mostly without comment.

In total, I read about 38 books. I watched approximately 67 movies (some of them twice) and about 50 seasons of different TV shows. It almost hurts to say that aloud.

BOOKS

Jack Gilbert - Collected Poems (This book contains each of his five books and his uncollected poems)
Carrie Lorig - Nods

Carrie Lorig and Sara Woods - Root Poems
Jason Shinder - Among Women
Bradford Tice - Rare Earth
Gregory Sherl - Last Night Was Worth Talking About
Harryette Mullen - Sleeping With the Dictionary
Paula Cisewski - Ghost Fargo
Matthew Zapruder - The Pajamaist
Zack Haber - Chapbook
Michael Earl Craig - Thin Kimono
Kristen Naca - Bird Eating Bird
C.M. Burroughs - The Vital System
Aimee Nezhukumatathil - Lucky Fish
Charles Simic - Hotel Insomnia
Rachel Richardson - Copperhead
Jenny Boully - of the mismatched teacups, of the single-serving spoon
Opal C. McCarthy - SURGE: An Oral Poetics
Sarah Vap - end of the sentimental journey
Lois Lowry - The Giver
Lucille Clifton - Next
J. Michael Gonzalez - Heredities
Jeffrey McDaniel - Forgiveness Parade
Kate Greenstreet - Case Sensitive
Sarah Vap - Acro Iris
Lily Ladewig - The Silhouettes
Amy Leach - Things That Are
Neil Astley (ed.) - Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal Times
Kate Chopin - The Awakening
TJ Jarrett - Zion
Daniel Halpern (ed.) - The Art of the Story: an International Anthology of Contemporary Short Stories
Chris Abani - Song for Night (haven't finished this yet)
Chrissy Kolaya - Any Anxious Body (haven't finished yet)


TV/MOVIES

Inside Llewyn Davis
Fargo (rewatch)
The Story of Film: An Odyssey (fifteen episodes)
Veronica Mars (Seasons 1, 2, and 3)
Return of the Jedi
X-Files (Season 1) (rewatch)
But I'm a Cheerleader
The Graduate
Supernatural (Seaon 1, episodes 20 & 21, Seasons 2 & 3)
Kissing Jessica Stein
Pickpocket
High Fidelity (rewatch)
Harold & Maude
Practical Magic
Phantom Menace
Gossip Girl (Seasons 1 & 2)
American Psycho
Hannibal (Season 1)
Bling Ring
The United States of Leland
A Young Doctor's Notebook (1 series)
Boyhood
30 Rock (Seasons 1 & 2 twice) (Season 3) (rewatch)
Happy (twice)
New Girl (Seasons 1, 2, & 3) (rewatch)
Flashdance
Cry-Baby
The Virgin Suicides (rewatch)
Following
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Ghost Hunters (one episode)
Paranormal Entity
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
The Inbetweeners (Season 3)
Spiral (Seasons 1 & 2)
Mean Girls (rewatch)

The Royal Tennenbaums (rewatch)
The Room (rewatch)
Sherlock (Season 3)
Orange is the New Black (Season 2)
Louie (Seasons 1, 2 & 3)
Party Monster
Shoot the Piano Player
Luther (Seasons 1, 2, & 3)
Louis C.K. Hilarious
The Ninth Gate
Taxi Driver
Scoop
In the House
Tin Man (Seasons 1 & 2)
The Punk Singer
Friday Night Lights (Seasons 1 & 2)
The West Wing (Seasons 1 & 2) (rewatch)
Wayne's World (rewatch)
The IT Crowd (Seasons 1, 2, 3 & 4)
Californication (Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, & 7) (rewatch of first six seasons)
Teenage
Gilmore Girls (Seasons 1 & 2) (rewatch)
Bad Grandpa
Electrik Children

The Lego Movie
Peep Show (pilot episode only)
Salem (pilot episode only)
The Bletchley Circle (Season 2)
The Office (U.S.) (Season 1, episodes 5 & 6)
The Office (U.K.) (pilot episode only)
Shadows & Fog
The Initiation
Dead Poets Society (rewatched twice)
The Brak Show (season 1) (rewatch)
Emporte-Moi
Unzipped
Game of Thrones (Seasons 1 & 2)
Jurassic Park (rewatch)
September
We Are The Best
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (rewatch)
Cropsey
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex
Stand By Me (rewatch)
Rachel Getting Married
Amelie (rewatch)
Turbo
Californication (pilot episode rewatch)
Beauty & the Beast (rewatch)
American Horror Story (season 3)
Advanced Style
Donald Glover: Weirdo
Aladdin (rewatch)
Home Alone (rewatch)
The Wolf of Wall Street
Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets (rewatch)
Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom
Labyrinth (rewatch)
Don't Trust the B**** in Apartment 23
Love Actually


And that's it. I'm planning on writing down everything I read and watch in 2015; hopefully the book list will be a little longer. I'm not sure I can do anything about the TV/Movies list. I'd like to say it's going to be shorter, but let's be real.

Year End Post: Vol. 1

So, five months is a long time to go between blogs, but it's been a crazy five months. This semester kind of kicked my butt, and not in the good way. Like, when you're at the gym and the perky blonde lady isn't sweating at all and she's got a perfect pony tail and her eye makeup is still pristine and she's like "this teacher kicks my butt!" I'm the one in the corner, red-faced, grunting and farting and trying not to vomit. This year was difficult.

But that's not to say that this year was without merit. I did a lot this year, and I thought I'd do a year-end wrap up post to say that yes, some good things did happen this year, and I need to be thankful for those things instead of dwelling on everything that went awry.

1. I got 75 rejections.

I have a goal of getting 100 rejections each year, because if I'm getting 100 rejections, it means I'm sending out work. Lots of work. I didn't reach that goal. I didn't reach that goal partly because things got a little hectic here at the end of the year. But I'd also like to think I didn't reach it due partly to:

2. I got 21 acceptances.

Twenty-one journals said yes to me! I might do a whole post on the whole process of acceptances & rejections & sending work out, because it's a weird process. It's like playing the lottery, and it's very tedious to send your work out, and I have to make it a game in as many ways as possible (the 100 rejections thing is one of those ways), but putting the work in is totally worth it. I got into a couple of my favorite magazines this year and I need to think about that on the bad days.

3. I completed yoga teacher training.

I am now a certified yoga teacher. I've only taught one class, but I've been thinking about trying to teach more. I really love teaching (both English and yoga), and there is something really nice about teaching a yoga class as opposed to an English class: mostly everyone who shows up to a yoga class is there by choice. I don't have to teach to the back-row sitters who are just snapchatting their buddies. Though, I guess, you'd be surprised about how many people I see texting in yoga.

4. On that note, I practiced yoga 160 times.

Hopefully a handful more by the end of the year. This is short of my goal for the year by 40 practices, but I celebrated my two-year yogaversary in November and I can't believe it. This is the longest I've ever stuck with any physical practice. I've started and quit so many sports in my life: volleyball, track, basketball, soccer, softball, cheerleading, running. I guess I was in cheerleading for three years, which is a little embarrassing to admit. Anyway, all this to say that I think I'll be happy about the number 160 instead of sad about the 40 I didn't do.

5. I did a buttaload of poetry readings.

I had a goal for this year in terms of poetry readings. That number was four, and I did way more than that. At least double. I love doing poetry readings more than I love doing just about any other thing, so this is definitely a goal I'm going to keep going into the new year.

6. I wrote approximately 110 poems.

Some of the poems I wrote and gave away to people at the Magers & Quinn 20th anniversary party, and some of the poems I wrote for Revolver's Write Fight, but I have most of the poems sitting on my desktop. I wanted to write 200 poems this year and I didn't do that, but I did write more than half that. And that's nothing to sneeze at.

7. I traveled. A lot.

I started the year in Ohio/Indiana for a little expedition related to a project I'm working on. I went on a writing retreat on the way back home in Wisconsin, where I almost got stuck because the weather on the day I left was about -30 degrees. IT WAS INSANE. But obviously I made it home.

I went to Alaska! This has been on my list of "yeah right" things I've wanted to do for such a long time, and for my husband's graduation present, his parents got us tickets to go to Juneau to visit his brother and their little family. It was such a blast.

I went to Vermont for the Bennington Writing Seminars anniversary thing, which was basically just a mini reunion for my grad school class, which was amazing.

I flew to Ohio right before fall semester started so I could go to my sister's baby shower, which was such a crazy time. I may never get to see her pregnant again, so there's no way in hell I was going to miss that one. It's so insane that humans can grow other humans inside of them.

I also got to go to Florida in May, where I got a ridiculous sunburn. I mean, a sunburn so bad I couldn't sleep on my back for a week. But I also got to see my mom and hang out with my family for a week, so no complaints.

8. I became an aunt.

Will's brother and his wife had a baby girl in May, and MY sister had a baby boy in November! I have never been much of a baby person, but it's totally different when it's a baby in your family. These kids are going to be so spoiled. I love it.

There are so many other things I did this year, too, and I may post about some more specific events in the coming days before the new year, but writing out these things I have to be thankful for was something I've been meaning to do for a long time. It's so easy to get caught up in the little stuff and forget the good things.

I hope you all had a fantastic year. Go and be good to each other.

Update: 101 in 1001, Part 1

Hey guys. I know I only first posted about my 101/1001 challenge about a month and a half ago, but I thought it could be fun to update a little bit about it already. Thinking about things I'd like to do over the course of the next couple of years definitely has me actively seeking opportunities to try new things and take necessary steps in accomplishing my goals.

I'm not going to share the whole list again, but I'll just comment on some of the things I've been up to in the last month or two!

The first and most important thing I crossed off my list was "Finish list of 101 things," which I completed on June 4th. I think it's fun to put things on lists that I know I'm going to do, like putting "eat lunch" on my daily to-do list. It was also nice to be able to cross out a thing right away. I did think for a few days about what I ultimately wanted on this list, but I like to dive into things head-first and knew that if I waited much longer, I probably wouldn't get around to finishing the list.

One of my other crossed-off goals was to do a bike ride/picnic with Will. I'm happy to say we've done this a couple of times this summer, but at the tail end of June, we biked with a couple of Subway sandwiches (all the veggies!!) down to Minnehaha Falls and ate them while people watching and listening to the almost-overflowing river rage on.

Another one I'm really excited about is the goal of going to at least four live concerts per year. Since making this list, we've gone to three live concerts, and have plans to see Jenny Lewis in August. I almost pee my pants every time I think about that. Jenny Lewis has been one of my favorite singers since my early college days, both as the frontwoman for the band Rilo Kiley and as a solo artist. I can't wait. The other three concerts we were able to see were the Zombie Pit String Band, my brother-in-law's awesome bluegrass band, Old Crow Medicine Show, which we were able to see for free at the 40th anniversary party for A Prairie Home Companion, and lastly, a local Reggae band called Dred I Dread.  I had never seen a Reggae concert before, and I was not disappointed. It was actually really great.

A few yoga-related goals I was able to cross off in the first week of this list were to hold crow pose for five breaths--I held it for six and only fell out because I started laughing--and to teach a yoga class, which was terrifying and amazing.

Under the category of "Travel & Adventure," I got to cross off "Take a cross-country road trip." In June, I drove from Minnesota to Vermont and back to attend the 20th anniversary of the Bennington Writing Seminars, where I graduated with my MFA in 2010. I love road trips. I think traveling in general can teach us a lot about who we are, especially when taking long trips. This trip in particular was a difficult one for a couple of reasons, but I made it there and back without speeding tickets, and I only cried in one Burger King parking lot.

The other item under "Travel & Adventure" I completed was "Do something that scares me," which is a pretty general task. However, I've done a number of things that scared me over the past few weeks: I participated in (and won!) a live writing competition--Write Fight--that was hosted by Revolver. Teaching the yoga class was also a rush for me, and just the other day I stepped very close the the ledge of a two-story high balcony.

This post has become unwieldy! And I'm only halfway through my list, so I'll continue this sucker later like an episode of a bad TV sitcom.

To be continued...

Crying in Public: It's Really, Really Cool

On Tuesday of this week, I was given the opportunity to participate in just one part of SHORE, Emily Johnson's multi-day performance. The part of SHORE I got to take part in was a curated reading. I gave a short reading along with seven other talented writers at the Loft in Minneapolis. A new and exciting thing for me! The rest of SHORE features volunteerism, dance, and feasting (probably my favorite of all four things). I saw the call for submissions on the Loft website. Emily curated this reading and asked that we send in pieces that were strongly tied to the idea of home, place, and land.

The town where I grew up is called Oak Harbor, and it's very small. When I say very small, I mean very small. The 2010 census clocked in around 2,500 people. I have friends who went to high schools bigger than that. I thought I really hated growing up in such a small town where everybody knew everybody's business, but then a few years ago, I pretty much barfed and all these poems about Oak Harbor just started coming out of me. I read four of them at the reading

The last poem I read was called "The House Does Not Look Burnt." It was published in an earlier version in Issue 27 of Neon Magazine in 2011. Three stanzas from the end of the poem, I just burst into tears. I made it to the end but kept apologizing and, thank God, there's even a video of this.

I was so embarrassed. I had never read the poem aloud at a reading before and had no idea that was going to happen. But after the reading, a lot of people came up to me and said "Hey, that's happened to me. Don't worry about it."

I'm not really sure what to do with this information. I did watch the video, like a scary movie: with a see-through scarf in front of my face, as if it would shield me from the embarrassment I felt. But it wasn't as bad as I remembered. I didn't have red snotty cry face, like I do when I cry at home. I just figure, when else am I going to get the chance to cry in front of a big group of strangers? So I'm posting the video here, because this is the true meaning of yolo.

If you want to see me read all the poems, I'm near the end of the reading. I get introduced around 1:03:48. If you have time, you should watch the whole thing--especially because at one point, Paula Cisewski reads three dazzling poems. If you just want to see the public crying, skip to 1:08:14. Also, if you've cried in public you now owe me a story.

Writing About Writing: Everyone's Favorite Least Favorite Thing

First of all, thanks to Kathleen Kirk for tagging me in this blog tour thing, and an apology to Molly Sutton Kiefer, who asked me to do this several months ago and I said I would and then didn't. Oops! I'm not a bad person, I just get distracted by TV shows. The two writers I'm tagging to do posts about this next are Joe Stracci and Erica Anderson-Senter, two fantastic writers and fantastic friends. Joe recently published a novel, Whitney, which you should definitely check out. At his book launch, I fell over a table and got a massive bruise which I nicknamed "Shame Bruise." It was there for many weeks as a reminder of how dumb I am. Erica is going into her second term in Bennington's MFA program (!!) and her poems drink diesel and scratch wherever they want, even if they're in public.

Erica hasn't actually agreed to do this yet, but you should check out her blog either way. I know if I waited for her permission I would get distracted by TV again and this post wouldn't transpire for another 3 months, my eyes glazed over with 3 seasons of Luther and a front to back rewatch of The West Wing.

Anyway, there are four questions here that I'm going to answer, and which Kathleen also answered, and which in theory, Joe and Erica will answer as well. Let's get to it then?

What are you working on?

That's always an interesting question for me, because I feel that the answer could likely be "nothing." I'm not really a planner when it comes to my writing. I do try to sit down and write at least a few times a week, but I don't have plans to finish anything in particular. I have a list of projects I flit between and work on whenever I feel called to. I'm trying to write poems named after each episode of The X-Files (I'm about halfway through season 1, writing-wise). I'm also writing a batch of poems based loosely on French New Wave films. The other thing I'm working on is a series of poems about the weird little town where I grew up. I assume it will be many years before any of these projects comes to a close.

How does your work differ from other writers in your genre?

It's hard to say. When I write poems I'm often inspired by other poets and the work of my friends and the members of my writing group, so I think that my poems are essentially tied to the work of many other writers. But then, I'm super weird (just check out the list of new things I did every day for five months in high school if you don't believe me), and so I think that on a fundamental level my poems are going to reflect my personality: weird. I like to try wacky stuff and write poems about the things that I find myself obsessing over, like stigmata and ghosts. 

Why do you write?

I've always been a writer. In second grade I wrote a poem called "FAT TURKY" [sic] in which I plot and execute a Thanksgiving murder (it was a turky, obviously), then eat the victim. In the end of the poem I get sad about having killed it but realize the turky is still alive in my "stumack" and we cut it out with a butcher knife. The details are murky but I don't hold grudges and now I like most birds. Anyway, I'm still writing.

What is your writing process?

My process isn't fancy. I just sit down and write. I pretty much only write poetry. I spend a lot of time thinking about poems and I have a lot of books full of ideas and words that I like. When I have thought about an idea for long enough, I sit down to write a poem about whatever that thing is. Sometimes I spend a long time procrastinating, and sometimes I give up right away. When I don't give up right away, I write a poem. It's either good or terrible. I hardly ever revise poems, because I'd rather just write a whole new poem than spend time making bad poems okay. That's probably the reason I've written about 700 poems since 2007. Because most of them are total crap.

101 in 1001

I realize this is going to be my second list post in two days, but I was inspired yesterday by my friend Jaime's post about her progress on something called "101 in 1001." I was intrigued and looked into it a little more. The idea is simple: make a list of 101 things to accomplish in 1001 days. If there's anything I love, it's making a good list, and the mother of all lists is obviously the to-do list. What I liked about this project is that it gives you a time limit for the accomplishments, and it's also a great way to aggregate long- and short-term goals into one big list. So I made a list of my own.

I just finished the first thing on the list, which was to finish the list. And scarily enough, I'll be completing a second task on the list tonight: teach yoga. I'm going to be teaching my first yoga class this evening at Ambiente Gallerie in northeast Minneapolis. I'm both nervous and excited. I'll definitely keep you posted on how it goes!

Below is my list. What would be on yours?

101 in 1001: June 4, 2014 – March 1, 2017

1. Finish list of 101 things

TOGETHER
2. Read a book together

3. Spend nothing for two weeks

4. Create list of life goals
5. Go canoeing

6. Go to a scotch tasting
7. See the orchestra
8. Bike ride & picnic
9. See a live sporting event
10. Go to 4 concerts
11. Go camping
12. Go sailing
13. Visit a museum
14. Get a pet
15. See a meteor shower
16. Ride a tandem bicycle

HEALTH
17 Practice yoga at least 12 times per month

18 Take 30 yoga classes in 30 days

19 Hold crow pose for at least 5 breaths
20 Teach yoga
21 Participate in a race of some kind
22 Bike or walk to work when possible instead of driving
23 Work toward full splits on both sides
24 Try a new kind of exercise or class

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE
25 Go to my 10 year high school reunion

26 Get a passport
27 Go to France
28 Visit 3 new states (Maine, Alaska, TBD)
29 Go backpacking
30 Take a cross-country road trip

31 Visit a famous landmark I've never been to
32 See something that claims it's the “world's largest” of whatever that thing is
33 Do something that scares me
34 Go snowshoeing
35 Go skydiving
36 Visit the Boundary Waters
37 Go to the zoo
38 Meet somebody famous
39 Ride in a hot air balloon
40 Go to an amusement park
41 Visit the Mall of America
42 Swim with a dolphin
43 Visit a national park I've never been to
44 Go somewhere haunted

WRITING & LITERATURE

45 Participate in at least 4 poetry readings per year

46 Read at least 4 books per month
47 Write down all books read & movies watched for the duration
48 Get into at least 1 top-tier journal
49 Write at least 15 poems per month
50 Put together a solid full-length manuscript
51 Get 100 rejections per year (magazines, contests, etc.)
52 Get head shots taken by a real person instead of selfie-ing
53 Go on a writing retreat
54 Enter & win a writing contest
55 Take a class at the Loft
56 Publish another chapbook
57 Apply for a PhD program in creative writing
58 Write a short story
59 Attend at least 30 readings

ETC.

60 Try to buy mainly used clothing

61 Try 10 new board games
62 Do a new thing every day for 1 month
63 Go through my clothes & donate what I don't wear
64 Host a dinner party
65 Take a photo every day for a month
66 Get my weird tattoo covered up
67 See the Northern Lights
68 Go back to vegetarianism for at least a month
69 Sing Men In Black at karaoke
70 Throw something into a wood chipper
71 Milk a cow
72 Say yes more

MEDIA
73 Give up all social media for a week
74 Keep blog updated
75 See all movies on AFI top 100
76 Go to the drive-in
77 Watch all the movies we own that I haven't seen
78 Give up internet games for a year

KITCHEN
79 Cook 20 new recipes
80 Try being vegan for 1 month
81 Try 5 new foods
82 Eat something I grew myself
83 Be diligent about composting and recycling
84 Cook all my own meals for a month (no dining out)

HOME
85 Tackle the books
86 Organize the kitchen
87 Plant something
88 Get a huge bookshelf
89 Wall art
90 Get a new computer
91 Get real bedroom furniture (dressers)
92 Decorate the bedroom so it doesn't look like a prison cell

LOCAL
93 Try 10 new restaurants
94 Go on a brewery tour
95 Go to the Minnesota State Fair
96 Minneapolis movies in the park or music in the park
97 Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight showing
98 Go to the farmer's market
99 Go to 4 different summer festivals
100 Explore Minneapolis & St. Paul on my bike
101 Have dinner on a rooftop patio